Dear Jessica

Dear Jessica,

I know you have a lot of men groveling at your perfectly shaped body. I know Tony Romo is your boo. But Jessica, Tony Romo ain't got shit on me.



I promise I could treat you better. I don't make as much money. But, you're rich. You don't need to have a rich boyfriend, you need someone you can take care of. You need a man you can lavish and love with all your heart. You want someone who you can spoil. You need a man who has simple tastes and loves well.



Jessica, I'm drinking brandy. Do you like Brandy? I don't like your music. Does Tony tell you he does? He's fucking lying. Do you want a man who lies to you? If he lies about liking your music, maybe he's lying to you about liking you at all. Maybe he hates you. It's just something to think about.



I love you. There, I said it. And, it's true love. It's not that bullshit that is based on commitment, personality, commonalities, and general things that are not unique. It is a love based on my fascination with your entire body. Mmmmmm..




Call me.